12 Tips to Stop Fights Over the Remote
Sharing a TV remote doesn’t have to end in arguments. With these simple tips, everyone can get a turn. Make peace during your next movie night.
1. Finder’s Keepers
The golden rule of remote warfare: if you find it first, it’s yours. This unspoken law is as old as time, or at least as old as remotes. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility (to choose a good channel).
2. Seat of Power
The person sitting closest to the TV has the natural right to the remote. This rule is based on the ancient law of ‘proximity equals power’. But beware, this can be contested by anyone with longer arms or quicker reflexes.
3. The Bathroom Break Clause
Leaving the room for any reason is a risky move. It’s universally acknowledged that a bathroom break forfeits your claim to the remote. Yes, it’s a harsh world out there in Remote Land.
4. The Snack Barter System
Offering to fetch snacks or drinks can be a clever ploy to gain temporary custody of the remote. It’s a simple trade-off: snacks for control. But be quick; your reign is only as long as the snack run.
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5. The Napper’s Forfeit
Falling asleep is an automatic forfeit. If you snooze, you lose (the remote). It’s a cruel but fair rule, allowing others to enjoy their shows while you visit dreamland.
6. Majority Rules
In a group setting, the majority’s show choice wins. However, this democratic process often leads to intense negotiations and alliances, reminiscent of reality TV show strategies.
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7. The Veto Power
Each member of the household has an unspoken quota of vetoes they can use to overrule a channel choice. Use them wisely though, as once they’re gone, they’re gone until the next TV season.
8. The Distraction Tactic
Creating a distraction to grab the remote is a classic move. Whether it’s pointing out a fake spider on the wall or asking a deep existential question, distractions can be a game changer.
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9. Ad Break Opportunism
The moment ads start is the prime time for a remote takeover. It’s an unspoken race; whoever grabs the remote during commercials gains control, at least until the next ad break.
10. The Sympathy Card
Claiming illness or extreme fatigue can sometimes work in gaining sympathy and, therefore, the remote. This, however, is generally seen as a move of desperation and can backfire.
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11. The Tech Savvy Trick
Using a smartphone as a second remote is a modern twist to the game. Tech-savvy individuals can sometimes change the channel right from their phone, but beware, this can be seen as unsporting by traditionalists.
12. The Peace Treaty
When tensions run high, sometimes the only solution is to agree on a show or movie that’s a middle ground. It’s the diplomatic approach to ending the remote war, often leading to a peaceful living room environment.
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